Illusion
Even if, somehow, everything magically got fixed tomorrow.
The saddest realization is that her love for me would never be real.
The care, the affection, the desire
it would all be fake.
Because it was never true to begin with.
If it was real, she wouldn’t have hurt me in ways I never deserved.
The version of her I thought loved me is completely buried under ego and the fear of facing guilt